Aren’t You Tired, Dear Girl?

I see you. Because I’ve been you — many times.

I see you, sitting alone. You’re defeated. You’re depressed. You try not to think about it too much — because if you do, you’re afraid it’ll break you. So you drown everything out by escaping into stories, fantasies, and adventures on a screen that make you feel good. That’s it — they make you feel good.

You look forward to sleep because there’s hope that maybe things will be better in your dreams — for just a short time, you’ll be able to fool yourself into believing that your life is better than it really is.

And when morning comes, getting out of bed isn’t hard just because you want to sleep. It’s hard because every morning you have to come face to face with a harsh reality:

You don’t feel purpose — not like you did. Things are darker. There are more shadows. You don’t feel that yearning, that excitement, that thrill anymore. The tone of your heart can be summed up in one long, unfeeling sigh.

There was a time not long ago — not long ago at all — that your heart was regularly so full you had to start singing or you thought you would burst. You would jump in your car, turn up the music and start driving with the windows down — and you’d sing praises to your God at the top of your lungs. Just because. Just because He was so good. Just because He had stirred it inside of you and you just couldn’t help it.

You haven’t had a heart to sing — to really sing — in some time now.

There was a time when you’d look forward to the glorious peace of a new morning. You’d wake up eager to start the day, because your day started with Him, in His Word. You’d dive into the passages, soak in His Truth, and step outside ready to face the day.

Now you wake up with barely enough energy to make your morning coffee. You get ready, gather your things, and walk out the door without entering a moment of peace.

There was a time when you spoke to your Savior more often than just the short general prayer at the dinner table with family or friends. You spoke to Him without planning it or being forced into it. You spoke to Him whenever you felt the desire to — because you did desire to. You gave Him thanks, you told Him of your struggles, you marveled at the little things He had done for you that day. You actually apologized for that bit of mild road rage you just exhibited on your drive.

Now, all is silent. Or so it seems, anyway. There’s no connection — the line is cut.

And you know — you know — that you’re the one who cut it. You know that you’re the one who’s changed, not Him. You’re the one who made the choice. You’re the one who didn’t choose Him.

You chose something else — something you just couldn’t stay away from. Something you thought you could live without and you did live without for some time — that time when you sang, and you longed for His Word, and you spoke to Him often.

But that something — that deep, dark something — crept back into your mind. And you let it into your heart, and you let it poison and intoxicate you again.

And now…you’re here. Living but not living. Waking but not awake. One of the Redeemed fastening chains around her own wrists again, and carrying them underneath it all everywhere she goes.

Aren’t you tired, dear girl?

Not of being awake — aren’t you tired of being asleep?

Aren’t you tired of ignoring the call? Because you know you hear it. You know it’s there. You’ve heard it — you’ve felt it in your bones. He’s calling to you still. Aren’t you tired of pretending you didn’t hear?

Aren’t you tired of wallowing in your “unfair” circumstances and crying that He still hasn’t given you what you’ve asked for — that thing you’ve believed you’ve really needed — for so long?

Aren’t you tired of desperately trying to hide from and run from and ignore the very Holy Spirit that is within you?

Aren’t you tired?

So wake up. WAKE UP, dear girl.

Open your eyes, uncover your ears, stand up and turn around to acknowledge your Creator, your Savior, your God. Fall down to your knees before Him so that He can lift you back up. Because He is there. He never left. He’s been waiting, patiently waiting, for you to finally wake up.

The answer is not more sleep. It’s not escape.

The answer lies in opening your eyes to the truth that you were called to so much more. You are a Child of God. You are special — not because of who you are, but because of who He has made you to be. It is your responsibility, your calling, that makes you different. You have been called to a life that is actively lived — so LIVE IT!

Wake up. Stand up. Replace that unfeeling sigh with the sharp inhale of someone about to fight back.

You may not feel it today — but you keep fighting, dear girl. You stay awake, you press on. Because soon you will have been filled again with the song that you once sang to Him. The song that He gave you then, He will give you again.

Wake up, dear girl. Humanity doesn’t need more sleepers.

It’s in desperate need of those who haven’t succumbed to the world’s intoxicating lullaby.

It needs those who are living with their eyes wide opened — whose eyes have been opened by the God of Creation. Whose everyday lives are obedient to His will and His calling.

Humanity needs to know about their Creator and God. And as His children, we are called to point to Him — by proclaiming and living truth.

So don’t be tired anymore, dear girl. Your God is still there — right there with you. And He has new life to breathe into you yet.

 

 

 

 

Photo by Edu Grande on Unsplash