Shut Up and Listen

Okay, am I the only one who automatically thinks of Lily’s TV show from The Princess Diaries when I hear that phrase?

Anyway…this post is dedicated to a topic that may not be hard for you to figure out by now. Listening. 

I will say that like many people I know, I don’t like to be interrupted. Who does? I mean, it’s just common decency. When you’re talking, the other person should wait for that little pause “cue” at the end of the sentence that you give them before putting their two cents in. To me, being interrupted is like having a warm, soft, luscious brownie in your hand and lifting it to your mouth, but just before it reaches your lips BAM! someone smacks it out of your grasp and onto the floor like Mutombo in that Geico commercial. 

Not. Cool.

The worst is when someone interrupts you literally mid-sentence, and doesn’t even give the polite little “Sorry to interrupt you…” apology. Sometimes, in these situations, I have to fight off the urge to say, “Thank you. I hate finishing those pesky old sentences. I don’t know why I even start them. So much effort!”

Okay, I’m exaggerating.

What’s really fun, though, is when someone does interrupt you mid-sentence…but you don’t stop talking. So all of a sudden, both of you are talking at the same time while you finish your sentence or story, and neither of you can understand the other, and the interrupter gets really confused, and, to your overwhelming satisfaction, stops interrupting you. I may or may not have done this once.

I can still hear my elementary school art teacher saying that oh-so-popular phrase of his when he would pause and glare at one of us students for making a noise or talking while he was giving everyone instructions.

“Back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…”

However often I may have made jokes with my friends about him saying this, I must say…he was right. It’s rude. So just don’t.

Now, before you get tired of my little rant, let me get to what I’m really trying to say.

We all agree that interruptions are annoying and inconsiderate and a real test of our patience, right? I mean, sometimes I wish that when someone interrupted me, I actually had Lily from Princess Diaries with me to yell “Shut up and listen to me!” in their face because I’m too nice to. We’ve all felt that, wouldn’t you say? Yes, of course.

Then why do we keep talking?

Maybe you missed that. Why do we keep talking? You see, this isn’t just about some group of people out there that doesn’t include any of us and who find enjoyment and purpose in their lives by rudely interrupting people all the time. This isn’t about that person you know, or that group of people you are sick of hearing stuff from. This isn’t an “Us vs. Them” kind of deal.

This is “Us vs. US.”

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the past couple years, it’s that there’s at least a tiny part of every one of us that loves the sound of our own voice, whether we realize it or not. (Theoretically speaking, anyway. I, personally, hate the literal sound of my own voice.)

We all have something to say. We all have stories to share, points to make, opinions to voice. And they can all be pretty different at times. But that’s okay. It happens. Such is life on planet Earth.

What’s not okay is not being willing to listen to each other. When we stop listening to each other, we stop learning from each other. Cutting someone off is like saying, “SHH!! Stop talking. What I have to say is wayyy more important.”

Says who? You? Who made you boss of the universe?

(This of course does exclude instances where it would be generally agreed upon that what they have to say is more important. For example: You are talking about your day at work, when suddenly behind you there is an angry gorilla about to rip your head off. Then I think we would all agree that the other person saying “Look out! There’s a gorilla behind you!” mid-sentence is probably more important.)

Back to my point…let’s stop cutting each other off or talking over each other because we think what we have to say is the only relevant information. Sure, there are times when one person is, in fact, correct, and the other is not. But just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you have the right to be rude. Let’s give each other the common decency of letting others have a voice.

When we start telling someone that their voice and what they have to say doesn’t matter, we give them a reason not to listen to us. And thus the vicious cycle begins.

Now before I finish up, I will say that I am in no way exempt from these accusations. I am guilty of this rude-ness, however hard I try not to be. All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t hurt for all of us to own up to it. Maybe then we would see how foolish we are acting and try harder to stop it.

So I leave you with this–some wonderful quotes that perhaps will get the message across better than I can.

“To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation.”  (Chinese proverb)

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.”  (Andre Gide)