Blessed Surrender

“I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior. I surrender all.”  -J.W. Van Deventer

“Take my life a sacrifice. In you alone I’m satisfied. Here I empty myself to owe this world nothing, and find everything in you. I surrender, I surrender, I surrender all to you.”  -All Sons and Daughters

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Ever sing a song to the Lord only to one day realize that you never truly understood what you were singing about until now? That’s where I’m at with those two songs.

 

Having grown up in the church, I’ve heard the concept of surrender spoken about quite often. I’ve always known that we’re supposed to surrender all to God — and that it’s a good thing when we do. And for much of my life, I believed I had done a sufficient job of doing this.

 

If you had asked, I would have told you that I was prepared to surrender all to Christ. And I see now that that was kind of part of the problem. I was saying that I was prepared to, but I never actually had. I had spent so many years convincing myself that if circumstances required it, I would be able to surrender anything in my life to God. But I never allowed myself to believe that maybe — just maybe — circumstances were already requiring it.

I’ve been on a beautiful journey with God over the past couple of years. He’s transformed parts of me in some marvelous and wonderful ways. And just like He knows what we’re able to handle at any given time, He knows when it’s time for us to learn the next thing. And sometimes, that “next thing” is the step that He’s been leading us to and preparing us for over a stretch of time.

And this is what I love about God — as I’ve allowed Him to draw me closer to Him over these years, and as I’ve gotten to know more and more about His perfect character, He’s shown me that He’s not an inactive God that just stands by and watches life happen to us. No, He is constantly doing work in us. He’s never not working on us and working in our lives.

Which is what makes the subject of this latest post so beautiful to me. As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’ve learned a little something about surrender recently. But it’s not as much about the recent “experience” I had with it as much as it’s about how God’s led me to this point.

It started with a “turn-around” moment a couple years ago. Which led to freedom from a stronghold that had held me prisoner over the five years before that. Which led to learning about the power of prayer. Which led to also learning about the truth and power of God’s word. Which led to learning more about God’s character. Which led to a deeper relationship with Him. Which led to trusting God with more. Which led to opening myself to the work of the Holy Spirit in me.

Which led to conviction.

Which led to harder lessons.

You see, through all of those wonderful and pleasant lessons, God was ultimately getting at something. He was working, digging, slowly wearing down boundaries I had set up to keep Him out. So that when the moment finally came, it would be clear to me what He was requiring of me.

There was a big piece of something that I had surrendered to Him at the beginning of these past couple years. And I don’t want to belittle that moment — that, in and of itself, was a huge step for me. It was my first lesson in and experience with surrender. But you see, I had withheld these very little pieces — pieces not big enough for me to consider them a problem or something that I had to hand over. But God knew better.

These little pieces “flirted” with the big piece that I had surrendered, so that when I took a bite of them, they made me crave the big piece. To the point where I’d then snatch the big piece back from God and indulge in it. Then I would feel convicted, I’d repent and ask for forgiveness, and I’d ultimately surrender the big piece back to God.

But I’d still keep the little pieces.

Still following? It was an ongoing cycle that I couldn’t seem to get myself out of. And I became so frustrated, because I thought I was doing everything that I had to do. But when I kept finding myself in that same convicting situation of having messed it up again, I couldn’t understand why God hadn’t allowed me to overcome it. Was the power of His spirit in me not enough?

But He kept telling me, “You need to surrender it to me.” And I’d answer, “God, I already have!”

And He’d gently reply, “You haven’t given me all of it yet. I haven’t required some — not even most, child. I require it all.”

He was asking for the little pieces. And I knew He had been for quite some time. But one day, He made it so clear to me that I couldn’t deny it anymore. And what was my response?

I recoiled. I shut Him out completely. I snatched the big piece back again and absolutely indulged, more than I ever had since I had first surrendered that big piece to Him. At the realization that He was indeed, without a doubt, asking for those little pieces that I had grown so fond of, I decided that He had gone too far. I was not willing to give Him that much. I was too afraid of what my life would be like without them, and I didn’t believe that He would be enough to replace them.

I lived like this for one week — and that was all it took for me to become so spiritually “dehydrated” that I couldn’t stand it anymore. Because if there was anything that He had taught me through all of those wonderful lessons over the past couple years, it was that life without Him is no life at all. And so, I returned to Him, ready to surrender all.

It was not a glorious moment of surrender. I did not hand it over joyfully. But I did hand it over, broken and with tears in my eyes, trembling in fear of what my life was going to be like without those little pieces. But also not prepared to continue denying God what He was requiring of me.

Surrender is not something that’s meant to come easy. And if you ask me, it’s something that we as human beings have the hardest time doing. We like to be in control. We like to do what we want to do, and the idea of allowing someone else to be in control of even the deepest areas of our life is absolutely terrifying.

But if our desire is truly that God would use us for His kingdom, if we honestly desire to do His work and have it be most effective, if we truly want to live a life completely devoted to and in love with Him, then we must learn surrender. We must. Because the moment that we aren’t allowing Him access to every corner and crevice of our life and of our soul, that’s when we show that we don’t really trust Him as much as we claim to. That we’re not really committed to Him as much as we need to be.

That even though we may be saved and have His seal of salvation on our hearts, we aren’t prepared to do all He could and would enable us to do in this life on Earth.

If we would only just trust Him and surrender. Oh, what amazing things we’d witness Him accomplish through us and in our own lives.

Let me be clear. I’m in no way saying that I’ve now mastered the art of surrender. No, no, no — I’m still struggling with it, and I have no doubt that I’ll struggle with the concept for the rest of my life. Like I said, I don’t believe that surrender is supposed to ever come easy — especially when it comes to the things that are most important for us to surrender.

I’m just saying that God has shown me the “why” behind it — why He requires it and why it’s so important. So that when He shows me the next thing I need to surrender to Him — because there will always be a “next thing” — I’ll know why He’s requiring it, and I’ll know what’s on the other side.

On the other side of surrender to the Most High God, there is the most incredible and indescribable freedom. And there we will also find the most beautiful security and trust, knowing that it’s in the One with whom it will always be safe.

 

So Lord, may these words ring true in my heart, and may I be ready to say them every time you show me the “next thing”:

“All to Jesus I surrender; all to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him; in His presence daily live.

All to Jesus I surrender; humbly at His feet I bow. Worldly pleasures all forsaken; take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender; make me, Savior, wholly Thine. Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit; truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender; Lord, I give myself to Thee. Fill me with Thy love and power; let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender; now I feel the sacred flame. Oh, the joy of full salvation! Glory, glory to His name!

I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior.

I surrender all.”