Is it wrong for me to say that I always want to be right? For some reason, that statement comes off a bit strong to most people and carries a negative connotation. But is it wrong to want that? Is it wrong to want to always be right?
My thoughts? No, it’s not wrong to want to always be right. When you think about it, why would you not want to always be right? Why would I want to be wrong when I take a stance on something? That just wouldn’t make much sense.
Where it turns into a problem, however, is when we think we are always right–so much so that we’re not willing to even consider another stance or point of view. When I decide that I know everything and insist that I am always right, that’s when I start to become…wrong.
I first learned this lesson in my 10th Grade English class, and again later in my 12th Grade Advanced Composition class. I had the same teacher for both courses, and I attribute my learning this lesson to him and how he taught those courses. I learned that when you believe something or take a stance on something, you need to know why. Otherwise, you’re standing on a belief system supported by merely blind acceptance. An important life lesson to learn — hence, why I consider that particular teacher to be one of the most influential teachers I’ve ever had.
There are a lot of things out there today that people have very strong opinions about. All you have to do is turn to any news station on TV, or scroll through social media, or do a quick Google search to see just how many clashing views and opinions there are out there. Views and opinions that are pitting people against one another and causing a lot of hatred.
Let me pause. I’m not going to go into any specifics here — stating my personal opinion on public matters is not what I started this blog for. That’s not what I write for. But I think we can all agree that there’s a whole lot of emotional arguing and fighting going on about a lot of different things and very little reasonable, calm discussion about it all. Am I right?
Let’s get back to my original statement. It’s not wrong to want to always be right. We just need to remember that we are, in fact, not always right. We’re not all-knowing and all-wise beings. We are very fickle beings who are at times also gullible. And I do mean “we.” As in me (and you) as an individual.
If you know anything about me (or have read my recent blog posts), you know that I don’t like to be in the wrong. I like to “do the right thing,” whether that be in a not-breaking-the-rules sense, or in a taking-the-right-stance-on-an-issue sense. I have a great fear of being “in the wrong” in both cases. So it’s no wonder that with all of these controversial issues going on today–whether it’s politics, social issues, politics, education, morals…politics–I’m getting a bit of a headache trying to sort out what’s right among all of the arguments that are being shouted from all of the “sides” of the issues.
It’s a mess. (Amen?)
Now more than ever I feel like I’m standing in the middle of these massive opposing crowds roaring at each other, and it’s becoming harder and harder to determine just which side I should be on. In fact, I’m starting to believe that sometimes there just isn’t a good side to be on. Sometimes, you find yourself to be on no one’s side and multiple sides at the same time–ya know what I mean?
I’m so utterly confused. I’m being bombarded with arguments, each stating valid points but each also being imperfect as well. I’m told one “fact” from one side, and then the next moment the other side tells me another “fact” that completely contradicts the “fact” that the first side told me.
It’s maddening. Who do I trust? Who do I stand with? Who do I stand against? Where do I go for the truth?
In the midst of all of this chaos, this is what I’ve determined — I stand with God. I trust God. I go to God for the Truth.
I know, it’s not exactly a statement you’ve never heard before. And I myself have been extremely frustrated when others have given me this very answer. I want specifics, people! I want to know exactly what is the absolute right thing to do in every little situation and circumstance I encounter. I don’t want any ambiguity. I want to know what I should say and do right now, and I want to be right.
If only it were that easy, right? Sometimes, it’s clear. I like those moments a whole lot more–moments when I’m absolutely sure what is the right stance on an issue and what is the wrong stance. But when it’s not clear–when it’s one of those gray areas where there’s some right and wrong to both sides–I become extremely uncomfortable.
This is where I believe our culture is having a breakdown. When something controversial is happening and it’s in one of those gray areas, I think we as a culture just can’t stand not knowing exactly how to immediately react. We want to be able to hop right on our podiums and tell the world why what’s happening in a situation, or what someone said, or how someone reacted, is right or wrong. And anyone who disagrees is stupid, and evil, and wrong! (cue excessive exclamation marks, shouting, and nasty Facebook comments)
Sound about right? We love to jump in with our opinions at the slightest hint of something that’s possibly against what we believe instead of waiting a moment until we have all of the facts.
Did that really happen? Did that person really say that? What else happened? What happened before that? What did they say before that? What’s the whole story here?
Why are these questions not being asked first, before we start shouting at each other?
Let me get back on track. I fully believe in the quote from Edmund Burke that goes as follows: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Bam. Yes. Amen.
But can I add a little something to that? A little supplement, if you will?
Do something, say something, by all means. Please! But make sure you’ve taken the time to know as much as you can about what’s going on before you take such a strong stance. When we respond with purely emotional knee-jerk reactions without too much thought or investigation, we head dangerously quickly toward an extreme.
So is silence wrong? In the long-run, it can be. When something obviously wrong or evil occurs and there’s enough evidence before us to prove that it is, in fact, wrong, then we must speak. Silence in this case would promote the evil to grow, as Edmund Burke’s quote points out.
But sometimes silence is necessary–when you’re still not sure about something. When you haven’t seen all the facts. When you’re not really convinced. When you’re just not sure how you should react. Sometimes silence is needed for a few moments in order to allow everything to make its way to the surface. Then, you speak. You speak when you’re informed and when you’ve seen all the facts that you can get your hands on. You speak when you’ve determined it’s a wise time to speak and you’ve determined the best way to do so.
So when you see that I am silent, please don’t jump to the conclusion that I don’t care. That’s simply not the case. I’m letting everything sink in and I’m taking the time to put my thoughts together in a rational and calm manner. I’m not just going to spit something out on social media for the sake of taking a side. (Besides, I very rarely ever post my opinions on these kinds of things on social media anyway. I prefer to discuss them face-to-face, not over Facebook comments)
And if you simply cannot get all the facts? If there’s still uncertainty? Then please, by all means, still form an educated opinion based off of what you know. But don’t let it grow into such a strong opinion that you end up having to convince yourself of things that there just isn’t proof of. Don’t let it be something that drives you to hate other people who don’t agree with you. In fact, let’s just not hate anyone period, yeah?
This is what our country’s justice system is based upon. Innocent until proven guilty. And when guilty, it’s been proven beyond a reasonable doubt.
And in the end, when you just cannot determine what the truth is for yourself, seek the one who invented Truth itself. When you’re not sure if you should stand for this or stand for that. When you’re just not sure if this person is more trustworthy or the other person is. When you’re just not sure if what they did was wrong or what they did was justified.
Seek discernment from God. When I try to solve things on my own with my own little brain and logic, I end up getting either very frustrated in not finding an answer or way too easily swayed toward extreme opinions on topics that I shouldn’t have such extreme opinions on–and I get way too irrationally emotional about them.
Our God is not against logic. He is not against justice. He is not against us seeking facts and seeking Truth. But when we leave Him out of the picture completely, our truth starts to become tainted and twisted. And when we try to construct our own personal preference for Truth outside of God’s already established Truth, oh boy, are we in for a mess.
I must accept that I will never have all of the answers–but I need to remember the truths that God has already given me. I must accept that sometimes I won’t exactly be fond of the truth that God reveals to me–but I need to trust and obey Him anyway. Because through it all, God has a plan, and I need to trust that plan–because it is a good plan.
When I need a good dose of Truth, I need to seek God and open His Word. I need to seek Him and trust in Him with all my heart, mind, and soul and ask Him for discernment in this chaotic and confusing world. I need to make sure that everything I say and do is done in love and with compassion. And I need to wait on His word and on His guidance. I need to be silent for a while, so that I can listen.
So in the end, what I’m really trying to say is this:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” – James 1:19-20
“In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” – Jesus, John 18:37
Brianna Lee Kauffman 