Okay, I just wrote the title for this post and giggled for a good ten seconds straight. I know the title sounds silly, but I just couldn’t bring myself to change it. And I have to admit, it’s a pretty accurate description of my life these past couple years.
Anyway, as you’ve probably already figured out, I’m dedicating this post to something that defines me pretty well at the moment–what it’s like to be an Adulting Christian. Or more specifically, what it’s like to be a twenty-something single girl who just moved out of her parent’s place and into her own apartment and is trying to figure out this whole “living on your own” thing and budgeting and being responsible and not eating cereal for dinner every night (that last one’s still very much a work in progress). And most importantly, this is about being a person who is trying to do all of those previously mentioned things while living a life that glorifies God and deepens her relationship with Him.
The Adulting Christian.
As you can imagine, and as I am already very aware, I’m not really an expert at anything in this stage of my life. Well, I guess that’s debatable–I make a pretty mean grilled cheese sandwich.
But what I mean is that I’m not very experienced at many adulting things, because I’ve only been doing this adult thing for a few years now. But I think there’s still a lot of value in taking note of and sharing what you’ve learned while you’re actually learning it. It’s fresh in your mind, you know?
I like lists. So here’s a list of a few things that I’ve been learning recently about what it is to be an Adulting Christian.
1. What’s mine is not mine. If you’ve already read my last post on this blog from back in January with this exact title, then I’ll save you the time of having to read that again. For the rest of you, you can go back and read that post to get the gist of this point. Or if you want the Sparknotes version: Everything we have is what God’s given us, so we should handle it with care and be good stewards of what He’s given. And we should seek His guidance in how to handle what He’s entrusted to us and trust Him when He gives us that guidance, even if we aren’t sure that it’s a “good idea.” He is God. Everything is His, including me. What’s mine is not mine.
2. I am an individual who is actually capable of taking care of herself. This may sound kind of trivial, but it’s actually a pretty great feeling when you’ve only just had the opportunity to really find it out for yourself. Dear old Mom and Dad aren’t around 24/7 to make sure everything’s okay (they just call or text 24/7 instead, bless their hearts). But guys, really–this is the first opportunity I’ve ever had to find out if I really have what it takes to actually keep an apartment clean and tidy on my own…which I’ve come to realize I don’t yet…
But that’s not important. I’ve come to learn that I can be fiscally responsible if I try. I can work and earn money and support myself and save while I pay rent, student loans, bills, and the like. I can overcome my fear of cooking and actually make myself a semi-well-balanced dinner (amen to pork and zucchini!). I can make decisions completely for myself about what I’m going to do in my spare time each evening, and I can make good decisions! I am proud to say that I have not spent every evening watching hours and hours of Netflix…
I used to be so scared of being on my own. But I’m not anymore. That’s a big deal.
3. I am not an expert at being a Godly woman, and that’s okay. Part of my fear of being on my own was that I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust that I could hold myself accountable to being the woman of God that He calls me to be. I thought that once I was really on my own and there was no one around to “watch” me, my true sinful self would take rule over my life and I’d ruin everything.
The beautiful thing is, the opposite happened. About a month and a half before I moved out this past fall, God had brought a wonderful and miraculous transformation into my life. I won’t give you the whole story here, but one amazing thing that’s come out of it all is this: I’ve committed to the journey–to trying and failing and learning and growing into the kind of woman God wants me to be. The kind of woman He’s called me to be. I don’t have it all figured out. No one really does. But I’ve committed to the journey that every other woman of God before me has been on and is still on. The journey of pursuing God as He pursues me, and letting him transform me every day through the study of His word and the power of prayer. And that’s a wonderful thing.
4. I’m learning to be patient with my calling. I could quite possibly write a whole post dedicated to this topic alone, but I’ll save that for another time. I want to make something clear about this one–I’m not 100% sure what my calling even is. And by “calling” I mean what most people think of when they think of a calling–what you’re meant to do with your life. What gives you a true sense of purpose and fulfillment. That thing that every twenty-something who is about to graduate college (or has already graduated) wants to have figured out. As for me, I know that where I’m at right now is where I feel called to be right now. But I wouldn’t say it’s my “calling.”
I have ideas for what I want my calling to be. But I’m learning that it’s not about what I want it to be–that kind of goes against the definition of a calling. God has been slowly getting it through my head that my purpose and calling is what He deems it to be. And if what He deems to be my calling is different from what my ideas are, I still need to trust Him and answer His call. Whatever it is. He created me for a purpose–I shouldn’t pursue something outside of that purpose.
But I’m also not quite sure yet what His purpose for me is–what my “calling” is. So I will remain where He’s called me right now and live here in a way that honors Him so that He can prepare me for whatever my future holds. And in the meantime, I will wait eagerly for His call.
5. Studying God’s word and praying fervently are actually really important and incredibly powerful for daily life. Some would think that’s a no-brainer, but trust me–not every Adulting Christian gets this (not every Adult Christian does, for that matter). I didn’t get it until very recently. I’ve come to learn over the past couple months that nothing has more of an impact on my daily life and my growth as a human being than spending time in God’s word and praying.
It was hard at first. But it very quickly became something I look forward to. And I still don’t do it as much as I think I should. I’m no Beth Moore (and she’s not perfect, either)! I’m just really excited that God has shown me just how powerful those two practices can be in my life so that I can continue to grow and get better at committing to them every single day.
6. I’m a twenty-something in the “prime of my life,” and I haven’t been on any crazy adventures…lately. I think people expect that during your twenties, you’re supposed to be doing all of those crazy and exciting things that only twenty-somethings can do because they’re adults but they’re also still young and agile. Well, that’s not really me. And that’s totally okay.
Not that I don’t like a good adventure every now and then. I’ve had a few in the past couple years (don’t even get me started on white water rafting). But 99% of my days are spent doing not-that-exciting things. I’ve never been clubbing, or bar hopping, or dancing or whatever the kids do nowadays. I’m more than content to spend a Friday night in my apartment either watching a movie, reading, or writing.
However, I do believe that I’ve stepped into an adventure that beats any cross-country road trip, tour of Europe, or trip to the Grand Canyon out there. The adventure of having a relationship with the Lord of the Universe, who never ceases to show me incredible and amazing things within my own little introvert life. I’m an Adulting Christian on the adventure of a lifetime. And although I’d still welcome some traveling adventures here and there should opportunities arise, I still wouldn’t trade a life pursuing Jesus for anything.
7. I’m still young, and I’ve still got so much to learn. But I am an adult. I’m an adulting adult. I’m a newbie adult. One who still needs some help and advice every now and then (or every other day) from others who are older and wiser. And one day, I’ll wake up and realize that I’ve been doing this for a while and I may consider myself an adult adult (perhaps that will happen when I’ve mastered cooking delicious dinners with ease and no fear).
But I realize that there will always be more to learn. I’ll never have it all figured out. As I heard in a movie recently, “You’ll never fully arrive this side of Heaven.”
But here’s to all of you twenty-something’s and thirty-something’s out there still trying to figure this whole adult thing out while also living your life in a way that glorifies God. You are my kindred spirits, and you are not alone.
So let’s hang in there together. And maybe one day soon we’ll look around at each other and realize that we successfully made it to real adulthood.
And hopefully we’ll still know that God was with us all the way. Like the good father He is.
Brianna Lee Kauffman 