What’s Mine Is Not Mine

I’ve been quiet on this blog for the past year. There are a few reasons for that. But the most important one is that I spent much of the past year making one of the biggest mistakes of my life and learning one of the most important lessons of my life.

I shut out my source of inspiration—the One who gives me words to speak (or write, rather), who fills my heart so full with something that I cannot contain it. God inspires me—He makes my cup overflow into words on a page. And not so long ago, I cut off all communication with that source of inspiration.

I won’t go too deep into the whole story—there’s a whole life and spiritual lesson there that I’m not entirely sure how to put into words yet. All you need to know is that I spent six months disconnected from God, by my own doing—by choice. I cut off the One who gave me the gift and ability to put words on a page that had meaning. And therefore, I could no longer find meaning in anything I attempted to write.

Long story short, I shut God out. He pursued me. He kept pursuing me every day, and I finally returned to Him, wounded, on my knees, desperate and begging for His presence. And He obliged.

Since then, He’s been doing some pretty awesome things in my life that maybe He’ll tell me to write about sometime. But right now—today—this is it:

What’s mine is not mine.

It never was. I have things—my money, my apartment, my job, my food, my family, my church, my stuff. And I know that in everyday conversation, I call all of these things mine. But really, they’re not.

I have money that He’s entrusted to me. I have an apartment…that I’m renting, so it’s really not mine—but that God has made available to me. I have a job that He’s called me to. I have food that He’s provided. I have a family that He’s blessed me with. I have a church that He’s built.

None of it was ever mine. I am merely a steward of what He’s given me. And you know what? As I’ve come to learn this, it’s made me a whole lot more concerned about what I’m doing with each and every one of those things.

I believe God knows that we can be reckless with what we deem as ours. Because if something goes wrong, we only have ourselves to deal with. The moment we’re put in charge of something that’s not ours—something we’ve been entrusted with—all of a sudden, we handle that something with a bit more care.

That risk of having someone else handle what’s yours is a risk that many of us don’t take with someone who we don’t trust. It’s not a risk we’d take with someone we don’t know could handle it with the proper attention and care.

And yet God gives, to all of us. There are many who don’t believe in Him and yet still have a whole lot of stuff. But could it be that all of that stuff they have is not what God considers to be among the most precious of the things that He gives?

Jesus says in Luke 12:15, “…life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” In other words, life is not made up of possessions. The stuff that we have will not give us life. A lot of times, it actually gets in the way. Just because we have a lot of stuff, does not necessarily mean that God has blessed us. Among those who have a whole lot of stuff, there are many who misuse it. There are many who hold it in too high regard—who treat it as more than it really is. And there are others who don’t value it at all and are too reckless with it.

I don’t believe that stuff is what God considers to be among his precious gifts. So what is? Well, the things that actually give life and affect lives in terms of His Kingdom. Things that can’t be bought, except through the blood of Christ.

Some of these things may not be tangible, but they can be broken. They can be damaged. They can be misused. So perhaps before we receive some of God’s most precious gifts that He gives to his followers, we should first learn how to care for the less-precious things He’s already given us.

And it goes beyond stuff. Every person I know, every person I care about, belongs to Him. They are a part of my life because He has given them to me. And the same goes for me.

Me. I am His. My life is not my own. And not until recently have I realized just how good of a thing that is. I’ve tried to take my life into my own hands. I’ve tried to claim everything in my life as mine. I’ve tried to control everything, do what I want with it, manage it the way I want to.

And I’ve done a pretty fantastic job of screwing it up.

God knows all. He sees all. He created all. He knows what’s to come. Why should I not take what He’s given me and do exactly what He wants me to do with it? He gave it to me for a purpose, and He will not seek to ruin me.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28

Whats ours is not really ours. What’s mine is not mine. What’s mine is what God’s given me. So I will treat it with great care, and I will strive to do with it what He wishes me to. Even when it’s scary. Even when it doesn’t exactly make sense. Even when I don’t agree. Even when it hurts.

It’s all His anyway. The only thing that’s mine is my salvation through Him—which is also something that He gave me, by the way.

But that’s the one thing I get to keep. Because in the end, that’s all that I’ll need.

 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” -Matthew 16:25