When it comes to deciding what to write about, my process is pretty simple. I wait for something to come to me. I don’t make a deadline for myself. I don’t tell myself that I’m going to write this many posts this month. I don’t search and search my head for hours trying to think of something relevant to write. Because usually when I do that, I end up writing something that’s not actually relevant.
No, I write when life tosses me something worth writing about. Sometimes it’s serious. Sometimes it’s entertaining. Sometimes it’s totally random but still fun to read (and to write).
Now, I think there’s definitely a place for deadlines and disciplined consistency. But for what I’m trying to accomplish with this particular blog, those elements aren’t what’s most important to me. If the topic isn’t jumping into my face and nagging at me all day, then I most likely won’t spend the time to bother writing about it. I don’t do this for a living, after all.
So what am I getting at, and what does this have to do with you? I’m getting there.
I have rules when it comes to my writing. I don’t have a lot of rules. In fact, I only have a few (I haven’t been doing this for that long). But perhaps the most important one to me–and sometimes the hardest one to stick to–is this:
When it comes to writing something that will be “posted” somewhere, I won’t write something that has no other purpose but to a) put someone down, b) boast about myself, or c) just make people angry (more specifically, people I don’t like). While they often appear on their own, I have found that these three things can sometimes come hand in hand as well. And when they do, that’s when things get really ugly.
This usually happens over topics that are somewhat controversial. While I’m all for having discussion over these things, I am not for that discussion consisting of all parties (or even one party) saying cruel things simply in the name of believing themselves to be right. I don’t care if you are right. To quote one of my previous posts, “Just because you’re right, doesn’t give you the right to be rude.”
Nothing good ever comes out of saying something that’s intended only to make someone angry. Because, ya know what? They’re gonna get angry. And in the end, that’s all you’ve accomplished.
There’s a better way to talk/write/communicate. And the sad thing is that even when we have the luxury of having time to actually think about what we’re going to say, many of us still choose to say something simply for the sake of causing a fuss.
From what I’ve seen, this is one of the fundamental reasons that so many people with differing opinions don’t get along. Because they refuse to.
So you’re not exactly like me. Okay. But you’re still a human being, just like me. So there’s no reason for me to treat you like dirt. Not one.
There’s a time to speak your opinion. And when that time comes, your opinion should be spoken with others in mind. It should be spoken with respect.
There’s also a time to keep quiet. And I think that many of us forget that. Keeping quiet doesn’t always mean you aren’t standing your ground. Sometimes saying nothing accomplishes more than any combination of words can. And I believe there’s a strong correlation between wisdom and few words.
Moral of the story: Maybe we should all think more and say less. Maybe we should listen to our own words through others’ ears before we let others hear them.
And maybe we should try to keep these verses in mind more often:
Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
James 1:19-20 – Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
We’ve been given the gift of words. Let’s use them responsibly.
Brianna Lee Kauffman 