Be Still

So if you’ve spoken with me sometime within the past two weeks, you know why I haven’t put up a blog post in a while. To put it simply, I had no time (like, really). With homework, real work, papers, presentations and that rare gift to college students called “a good night’s sleep,” blogging has taken a back seat.

But I’m back. As of two hours ago as I’m writing this sentence, I finished the three big projects that all happened to be due on the same day (note, I’m rolling my eyes right now) and over which I was stressing out immensely. So now–after having scurried around campus like a crazy person searching for a printer that was working so I could print my papers before class started–I’m free as a bird….until Monday.

Nevertheless, I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and while I can, I’m going to share a little bit of my experience with you. Because believe me, it was quite the experience.

To start off, I must make a confession. Regarding some of my assignments, I did, like so many naughty college students do, procrastinate. Gasp!

Yes. I am ashamed.

But I’ve learned my lesson…or so I keep telling myself. I mean, folks, I actually used (for the first time) the planner I bought for myself last semester with such good intentions of using. This is a big deal.

Back to the point, though. During the past two weeks, there have been times when I thought I was going to lose my mind. I’m sure we’ve all had these kinds of moments, right? You have way too many things on your plate, not enough time to do any of them, and it seems as though with every day comes yet another item to add to said plate. Pretty soon, you get to that point where you think you just might snap under the pressure of these responsibilities. You feel as though you can’t catch a breath as you flail your arms trying to keep your head above the surface of this stormy sea of “to-do’s.” Every now and then, you feel as though you are beginning to float. But then, out of nowhere comes another massive wave, and your head goes under the water again, stealing your oxygen and sending you into a panic.

Yes, this was my life. And let me tell you, it was exhausting. I’ll be honest and tell you that there were moments when I failed to take my own advice on “choosing to be happy” and I was a total grouch (I told you, I’m still trying to master that whole thing). So, sorry to the friends and family who were around me during those times (I’m sure you know who you are). But looking back on everything with a clear head now, I realize that I’ve been taught some pretty important lessons–one of which I will share with you now.

Okay, so picture it: Me at home, sulking about, eyelids droopy from fatigue and stress, reading books and staring at my computer screen while trying to type a twenty-five page paper and two smaller papers. My family was well aware of my situation, given the fact that I almost had a breakdown in front of them a few times. I was assured that prayers were being lifted for me, I got little gifts from a friend to encourage me, and I received some tips on Bible verses that might help me get a good perspective on things. And they did. But one morning, I wake up and sulk into my car about to face another stressful day, and I’m met with a little surprise. As I put the car into reverse, and look into my rearview mirror, written in black magic erase marker at the bottom are the words Be still, and know that I am God.

Now picture this: me pausing for a moment, smiling at my sister’s sweet gesture and pulling out of the driveway. But before I can get out of our neighborhood, I’m practically sobbing and struggling to see the road through my tears.

This verse–this beautiful, truthful, simple and yet profound verse–had suddenly taken all of those stressful thoughts that were racing through my mind and pushed them out of the way for a moment to reach me in the mess of a predicament that I was. The words took me by the shoulders, looked me straight in the eye, and said to me in a soothing voice, “Stop. Breathe. You’re going to be all right. You won’t drown.” 

I’m struggling to find the words to describe just how I felt. My to-do’s had not been eliminated; I still had to do them. I had not been given more time; I still had only a week to finish. Nothing in my environment had changed. What had changed was something inside me–something that a few moments earlier had been shaking and hyperventilating and flailing and panicking and ready to scream…but suddenly was somehow able to float and crawl onto a life raft in the middle of that raging sea and take a deep breath in refuge.

I was quite surprised by my own reaction. It took me a moment to regain my composure, and when I did, I scolded myself for being such a sap. But for the entire week, every time I got in my car and looked in that rear view mirror, I got choked up with emotion. How could just a few simple words take hold of me and give me such peace during such an overwhelmingly stressful time?

That, folks, is the beauty of God’s Word. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard or read that verse and shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head and thought, Yeah, that’s good and all. But I don’t need to be still to know that God is God. I was missing the point.

I see now that this verse isn’t telling us to just stop for a moment and take a breath to know that God is God. We, as believers, know that already. What it told me in that moment–and will tell me from now on every time I read it–is that I needed to stop scurrying around like a madwoman so that God could show me just what kind of a God He is. Because I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy thinking and moving and begging him for help and then quickly moving on to get the next thing done before I was even finished saying Amen. It’s like I was dehydrated, asking someone desperately for a drink of water, and running away before they could pour the glass and give it to me. 

Be still. God had grabbed me, brought the cup to my lips, and poured the water into my dry and parched mouth before I could run away again. And after I drank and He pulled the cup away, I fell to my knees, panting and sobbing out of relief–the relief that I wouldn’t stop my scurrying around for to let Him give me.

We live in a culture of constant movement. We are told that if you’re not doing something, you’re being lazy. This has its benefits, sure. But we often tend to forget to live out that lovely cliche of a phrase “Stop, and smell the roses.” (Now that I think about it, that’s kind of the “secular” version of Psalm 46:10). Being busy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But thinking that the things we need to get done are just so important that the world will cease to exist if we stop to take a breath for just a moment…that’s not healthy. Not to mention, it’s a little bit of an insult to God’s sovereignty.

So what am I saying? I guess, stop moving. Relax. Breathe, in the nose and out the mouth. Just stop thinking for a second about all of the things you have to do. Stop thinking about all of the problems in your life. Stop thinking about how stressed you are. Just for a second. 

Stop. And let God show you who He is. In order to be shown something, you have to stand still for a second and look. In order to be given a drink, you have to wait and let it be poured for you. In order to be given peace, you have to be willing to receive it, even if it means stopping in the middle of something that you need to get done ASAP and don’t have time to take a break from.

You want peace?

Be still. And let God show it to you.

Don’t make Him have to do it through your sister and a magic erase marker (even if it is sweet).