After contemplating for a significant amount of time (about 5 minutes) over what I should write my very first post about, I decided that it would be best to let people get to know me. Now, there is an “about” section of this blog that gives a little info about me, but it doesn’t really get into who I really am. Whenever I read something like a blog, I like to know–or at least have an idea about–who this person is that I’m spending my time listening to.
It’s just fair, I think.
And I also think that one of the best ways to get to know someone is to know what makes them weird. Because we’re all weird in our own weird little ways. And when you find out the weird stuff about a person, somehow you feel a little bit closer to them. Or you just like them more because they make you feel better about yourself…
But I’m going to stick with the first one.
So here you go–my list of five things that are weird about me. (feel free to laugh, but don’t judge)
1. The time on my alarm clock is always always exactly ten minutes fast.
Every time I have to reset it after the power goes out, I whip out my phone, look at the actual time, add ten, and make that my alarm clock time. Apparently, I think that when I wake up in the morning and look at the time, I can fool myself into believing that it’s later than it actually is…so therefore, I fool myself into thinking I slept later than I actually did. And therefore, I feel better because a whole ten more minutes of pretend sleep really makes a difference…
Therefore…I’m weird.
2. I eat my watermelon with salt.
I didn’t know this was weird until I had actually left the country and a German friend of mine told me it was. At the time, however, I thought it was just a “cultural” thing. Until I came home and told my friends and family the story about how my German friend thought it was weird, and I would laugh and shake my head and sigh at how strange it is that people in another country never heard of putting salt on watermelon…
…but no one else laughed. Instead, they looked at me just like my friend from Germany looked at me.
That’s when I learned…I was weird.
3. If I ever turn around one way, at some point soon after, I have to turn the other way to get myself straight again.
Okay, now when I tell people this one, they give me really strange looks. I don’t know if it’s a mild form of OCD or something, but I’ve always been like this. If you’re having a hard time picturing what I mean, think of the movie Zoolander (if you’ve ever seen it…no, not the greatest quality movie, but what can I say? I was like 14). The main character has this issue where he can never turn left. So when he would have to turn left, he would turn to the right and make a complete circle to go left. (Get it?) That’s me, except it wasn’t just left…if I had just turned right, I couldn’t turn right again. I had to turn left to get myself “straight” again…even if I had to go right. And hence, the weird circle-walking began.
Don’t worry though, I’ve gotten better. I don’t have to do this anymore…but the thought still pops into my mind every time.
And every time, I remind myself…I’m so weird.
4. As a child, I got very (and I mean very) emotionally attached to inanimate objects.
This is the one that I’m hoping no one in my immediate family will read…because they never let me live this down as it is. Okay, so there may have been a few instances in my childhood when I cried over my parents getting rid of some objects in our house. You’re probably thinking “Oh, that’s not so strange. What kid doesn’t get attached to some toy or something that they love?”
Yeah, except…they weren’t toys. It’s very possible that some examples of these items may have been…a couch *cough* or a fridge.
But while you judge me, just keep in mind that contrary to what my family may tell you, I DON’T do this anymore. Perhaps, at times, a little part of me dies inside when we get rid of certain seemingly meaningless objects….but I get over it. I’m a big girl now.
But my family will be the first ones to tell you…I’m still weird.
5. I’m obsessed with writing my signature….everywhere.
If a select few of my friends ever read this, they will attest to this. I believe one friend of mine has multiple notebooks (her notebooks) that are sprinkled all over with my signature from when I would spend afternoons at her house. All I can say is that ever since I learned cursive in third grade and could proudly say that I had a signature (whoa ho ho), I have never stopped writing it. Put a writing utensil in my hand and a piece of paper in front of me, and within five minutes you’ll see my signature at least fifteen times. I was so happy when I got a bank account and could write checks or use a card, not because I could pay for things, but because I could sign for them.
And a few times in my life, I may or may not have fantasized of being someone famous, not for the money and not for the fame….but so that I had a reason to autograph things.
It’s a disease. I know.
I’m weird.
But aren’t we all? If we were all completely “normal,” how boring would life be? I love hearing about weird and quirky things that people do. It’s interesting to me. It gives you just a little peek into how their minds work.
And heck, sometimes it’s just downright entertaining. But I think if we all learned to laugh at ourselves a little more, we’d realize that we’re all pretty normal in our weirdness.
Or maybe it’s just me. In which case…I guess you can feel better about yourself now.
You’re welcome.
Brianna Lee Kauffman 